I recently heard a talk on the subject of mutter. Its this concept that occurs every day, whether it is chit chat around the corner, in the office, at the restaurant, at home etc. etc. etc! It’s endless and inevitable in our lives. So mutter will be there…so what? Does it really matter to you, or me? Well may be it’s best to look at it from two angles.
The online Oxford dictionary defines mutter as follows:
1) Saying something in a low or barely audible voice, especially in dissatisfaction or irritation
2) Talk or grumble in secret or in private
Let’s first look at point one – the matter of speaking in dissatisfaction or irritation about someone (least important of which is the audibility of the person speaking). I have always believed and maintained that human nature will always cause people to mutter about something, or someone specifically; it’s just how the human race has evolved over time and it’s not about to go away any time soon. So what is it about mutter that seems to irritate most people or irk them to some degree? I always thought people who muttered about you, whether you were at a slight distance away or not present had nothing better to do in their lives…but recently my opinion has diverted to something more interesting (at least to me). If people are muttering about you then surely you must have some value or importance in their lives for if you didn’t really then they would have ABSOLUTELY no reason to mutter about you. Forget about whether the muttering is something they find very negative about you…the fact is they are still muttering about you. I think the dissatisfaction or irritation they feel about you is connected to and resonated within a deep seated subconscious feeling they have about someone else that affected them in the past and affects them the same way you do in the present. So the person from the past still has some importance in their present.
Then what about the second point where they grumble or talk about you in secret? This can be a very bitter pill to swallow; this is especially so when it is done by someone you consider to be close to you or has great significance in your life. Very often people can grumble or mutter about you without knowing all the facts. It’s so easy to just state what the person thinks at the time…it takes too much time just to ask the right questions to really find out the facts about the person you are muttering about. Why do you think the media and newspapers can survive on a few stories or scandals that are based on a few mutterings? Human nature will always make humans’ inquisitiveness get the better of them when it comes to such stories or scandals. Perhaps it would be best to completely ignore the person who wants to mutter about you. It all relates to the point of importance, though this time the importance factor can be reversed; let them mutter all they want, if they are not important to you why bother?
Too often as humans we become concerned about what some people, despite their insignificance in our lives, are muttering about us. I have seen people let such mutters affect them a lot so much so it seems to become a major distracting point in their lives. It can affect some psychologically, but I really feel it’s a matter of how much you as a person will let it affect you. There are better things to worry about in this world. Occasionally we feel we need certain people’s validations; their validation will mean we have much more significance and thus it creates absolute value for us. This is indeed a sad way for some people to be accepted, be it in society’s ‘norms’ or as part of a certain group of friends or acquaintances.
The ending in the talk I heard was appropriate and it’s a lesson we should all take home – forget all about the mutter, focus on everything else that really matters!
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