The 3rd Person

It’s amazing what taking time out reflecting does, sometimes bringing you to past moments that you thought were a key part to how you would ultimately change and transform as a person.

What I’m writing about here could be controversial, but I choose to write about it because I wonder how many countless people go through this every day. Some even let it become their identity. I thought the only way I could elaborate on it authentically was to give my own perspective.

You may have met someone that over time you built something special with; in some instances destiny and fate could ultimately bring you together as life partners, soul mates…call it what you wish.

Sometimes circumstances or choices/decisions lead to a point where you don’t confess your feelings for that person in time, yet they remain an integral part of your life. In some instances that person moves on and builds a new life with someone else. Since you love and respect that person, you tend to accept that to be happy for them (at least in most circumstances happily).

I was reminded of this after having a conversation with a friend who experienced a very similar situation and was feeling extremely hurt and disappointed. In some ways it resonated a lot because of going through such hurts personally before. I thought by explaining my experience and how I got over it, I could help that person.

These situations often tend to place the affected person into what I call a ‘3rd person’ role. It’s like those movie scenes where often you will see this 3rd person appear in the background…they’re not exactly part of the main cast or story, but somehow they fit some of the key pieces together, always having some key integral part to play.

It’s often an odd situation though, and sometimes the affected person can feel a lot of deep pain and anguish. While they don’t want to confess their feelings because of a fear that they be estranged, it does cause emotional confusion in certain instances, especially if the other person they feel for is still a major part of their life.

I write about this because I feel a lot of people get into these situations where they don’t want to be seen as the reason a relationship broke up (with good reason), but they are caught in this world where they can’t fight of some of their feelings. In some cases it gets so overwhelming that they confess their feelings, either with favourable or drastic consequences.

So why do people hang on in these situations and still keep the other person as someone who is deeply involved in their lives, even if they are just friends?

I have my own theories some of which are below:

– genuine love and respect for the other person despite not being able to reveal feelings, and wanting to maitain that genuine bond

– the other person becoming such a big part of their life, that it’s hard to imagine a life without them (human nature I guess, even if it sounds extremely cliche)

– the need to want to show genuine happiness for the other person

– in some instances, probably waiting for fate/destiny to change situations (without interfering in a negative way).

One belief I do have is never needing to confess true feelings if it means causing disharmony in their relationships with someone else. That’s just not the way I grew up learning to create love or trust between people anyway.

I know in some instances people do hang on, waiting for fate/destiny to change things. I believe life is unpredictable, but that should never be the reason ‘3rd persons’ in these situations should hang on in hope. There is always that adage ‘if it’s meant to be it will happen’

So if you do come across such a person going though this, think for a moment about their pain before rushing to judge.

The world needs more genuine love and such affected people also desire such genuine love!

Copyright 2017 – All Rights Reserved


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s